Alan Currall

Transcript of monologue.

"Right then. Now, what I want you to do is; every time I press down on the keyboard, on one of the letters on the keyboard, I want you to put that letter up on the screen in front of me. Ok? Now, every time I press down on one of the numbers on the keyboard I want you to do the same with that. I want you to put it up on the screen in front of me. Right. Now, when I want you to move a letter from where I’ve asked you to put it on the screen to somewhere else, I want you to be able to do that: To move whatever letter I ask you to move to another place. Right? And I want you to be able to move any number that I’ve also asked you to put on the screen to anywhere else as well. Now that also applies to any groups of letters or any groups of numbers. I want you to be able to pick out the ones that I specifically ask you to move and put them just where I ask you to put them. Ok. Now then, erm, if I want you to make a particular letter or number bold, y’know darker, then you must be able to do that, wherever I ask you to do it. To what ever particular letter, or group of letters, or number or group of numbers I ask you to do it to. Ok. Now, also I might sometimes ask you to make a particular letter or a particular number, or a group of letters, or a group of numbers, italic. Y’know, kinda slanty. Now, sometimes I’ll want you to make an individual letter or an individual number, or a group of numbers or a group of letters; I will want you to underline them. And sometimes I might make,- I might want you to make an individual letter or a group of letters, or an individual number or a group of numbers, both bold and italic. And I will also sometimes want you to make an individual letter or a group of letters, or individual number or group of numbers, bold and underlined. Now, sometimes I may require you to make an individual letter or an individual number, or a group of letters or a group of numbers, italic and underlined. And there may be times when I want you to make an individual letter or an individual number, or a group of letters or a group of numbers, bold, italic and underlined. Ok? Now, there will be some letters and some numbers sometimes; they may be individual or they may be in groups, which I will want you to make bigger, bigg-er! Y’know, big in size. And also, simililary (sic) there will be other groups of letters, groups of numbers, and individual letters and individual numbers, which I will want you to make smaller – in size. Now, these could be anywhere. They needn’t be together. They might be, y’know, in different places. So, it’s just where I ask you to do it, and nowhere else. Ok. Now then, erm. Sometimes I may be asking you to make individual letters or an individual letter, or an individual number or again groups of letters or groups of numbers; I might ask you to make them in a different font. That’s like a different typeface. And again, it could be anywhere. Y’know, it’s not going to always be in the obvious places. Now then, this is… We’re coming up to the end now, there’s not much left, but this is very important now: I will definitely want you to be able to show me what the whole page is going to look like, on the screen in front of me, before you send it to the printer. Because I wanna to see what that’s gonna be like; the whole thing. So, you must be able to do that. And now finally, but perhaps most importantly, the printing itself. Now when that page comes out of the printer, it’s got to look exactly as it appears on the screen. Right? It’s got to be identical. It’s no good having something up here and something down here, when I’ve asked it to all be there. It’s got to be identical to the one on screen. Now, that’s all I ask."

An online version of this work can be view here, on the Arts Council Collection's vimeo account.

Alan Currall, Word Processing, 1995 from Arts Council Collection on Vimeo.